#hornt asks

[zmediaoutlet]

an anonymous person asked for a bunch of numbers but then I accidentally deleted the ask, so here are a few I remember

8. What’s your favourite sex position?

DEAN: That's like asking favorite food. How do you pick? The other ones are all gonna feel left out. SAM: You think if you choose cheeseburger then burritos are going to be sad? DEAN: I don't want to test it, is what I'm saying. SAM: God. Okay -- whatever. Doggy. DEAN: You -- what, really? SAM: Good control, easy for both people to help with rhythm, good view. I like being able to see the action. Plus, you've got an amazing back. And if it's me -- you know you like it from behind. DEAN: Jeez. Fine. If I'm banging you, then yeah -- but when you're flat, on your stomach. What's that called? Doesn't matter -- it's just, when you're all laid out, you get all... I don't know. Lazy. Just letting me take care of you. I hardly get to any other damn day, control freak, so. That's good. SAM: Yeah? What about when it's the other way around? DEAN: I -- uh, I mean, it's all... pretty good. SAM: Don't worry if the burrito's going to feel bad. Let's say it was right now. Lights dimmed, we had a few drinks, all warmed up. How do you want it? DEAN: ...Missionary. SAM: Yeah? DEAN: Yeah, but -- not with my knees up by my ears, or whatever. Just that way where -- we're all close, and you got my ass up off the bed, and I've got my thighs up over your hips but you can't get super deep, so it's gotta be kinda slow. Where we're super close, and it's gonna take a while, and I can see your face. SAM stays quiet. DEAN: I like the view, too.

9. How often do you need sex?

SAM: Less than I need hot meals, unlike -- DEAN: All right, all right, easy. SAM: Honestly, it's something I can go without if I have to. I've had some dry spells -- don't talk -- DEAN: Wasn't gonna say anything! SAM: -- but it didn't... matter? I figure I have a pretty average sex drive, but it doesn't control my brain. If I want to get off I get off. It's not really a big deal. But... I guess when sex is available and it's with someone I actually care about, it's just nice to have. So -- if we're putting numbers on it, what -- twice, three times a week? DEAN: Oh, you're actually -- I thought we were just gonna rag on you for being a monk and me for being easy. SAM: It's just us, man. DEAN: Well -- okay. Honesty it is. Sex is great, sex is the best. But -- I guess I'm with monk-boy over here. It feels good to feel good, duh, but when you're with somebody 25/8 it's just... one of the ways we can be together, you know? I mean, I ain't gonna say a night of library research is anywhere near as fun as 69ing, but it's... I don't know. Not something you need all the time. I don't even want to sleep next to him every night. You kick, dude. SAM: You steal all the blankets. DEAN: I deserve those blankets, I'm not the Human Radiator. Anyway -- yeah. So -- I can go two or three times a week. I can go every single day if we want to, or not for weeks if we have to. All else fails, I know how to use my right hand. But it's good to know someone's waiting, if there's a dry spell. The nut-draining part is good, but getting to clean the pipes with a plumbing buddy is the best part. SAM: ...Poetic.

10. Where do you stand on the monogamy/polygamy-scale?

DEAN: Hm. SAM: Let's -- DEAN: Yeah. But it's your turn to bring back beer.

---

SAM: I can go either way. I... don't mind if he has sex with other people but I want to know about it. That can be fun, even -- if he meets a woman at a bar, say, and they've got chemistry, there've been one or two times that I've just said -- go ahead, have fun. He practically sparkles. When it's a guy... SAM pauses. It shouldn't matter but it does. I guess that's not really very PC, is it? But it does matter, to me. When we've been good, I don't think he's ever really wanted to have sex with a guy without me there. I don't -- I think that's so. We've had a couple guys together, and I don't... I don't want that to change. I guess that's it. For my side -- I've slept with a few women, without him. He practically shoved me at them. And that's been fun -- I could miss women, if I never got to sleep with one ever again. But most of the time I don't really want anything else. Dean's a lot.

---

DEAN: Look, I didn't want to say this with him right there, but -- what's the point, if you're not telling the truth, right? I like chicks, I like guys. I've wanted to get my face sat on by some beautiful snatch and I've wanted to get nailed by some crazy dudes. But if all I ever had for the rest of my life was Sammy that'd be all good with me. Screw the cheeseburger or burrito metaphor. He's air.

(now all available in handy readable form on AO3, if you do that kind of thing)

[sergle]

obsessed with the anon, who, themselves admitted to also being white, who wanted to virtue signal so badly that they know fetishizing other ethnicities is bad, that they got it confused for simply "being attracted to someone who is not white". sergle found guilty for being horny outside her race

First of all: this is such a meandering sentence that it took me a couple seconds too long for my brain to register it properly. #womenforilliteracy Second of all: SCREAMS... Sometimes it really does feel like people are so scared to be attracted to a motherfucker, that all attraction is predatory somehow. Somehow fully looping all the way back around to being anti-miscegenation in the pursuit. of. NOT being racist. right right okay okay okay okay cool

[pink-of-hair]

what do you think of different ways that people can lose control of themselves?

[4th-make-quail]

idk assad is just so shy and cute and i am but a simple pervert who needs to see that exploited… like the idea of him being coy and almost prudish like ‘omg noooo that’s so grossss’ but he’s so turned on it turns his brain into mush ignites something sinister within me!! and writing this has me thinking abt eric like making him say disgusting/vulgar shit out loud during sex and stopping everything and refusing to touch him until he does🤭think i need to go outside and reconnect w nature after this one

-🍸

You're so right for this too tbh!! He has a very shy, cute vibe!! And it's especially obvious and endearing (AND HOT) when juxtaposed against Eric's famously horny filth 😩😩

I do think he'd absolutely push boundaries as well, like getting Assad to expand his horizons you know? It's good for you, babe. Plus he really loves seeing him beg......

[grossillygirl]

It’s sexy af that you’re too tight for other toys lol and using butt plugs. I just want to wreck those holes

🥺 want you to stretch me out

[gothichoney]

I cant take this anymore I have an aching need to get my back blown out RIGHT NOW

i know how you feel buddy

[eldritchmochi]

I think I can also attest to the erotic cane litmus test.

I was with someone who I thought I was going to date - we were in a pre relationship if you will. We agreed we might go on a date at some point but wouldn’t push it and if we wanted to he friends we could be.

We were sat on the beach and I had my cane beside me. They took it, and I was goddamn mortified.

I said ‘can I have that back please?’

They said ‘But your not using it’

I tried to explain like they just took my left leg and they gave it back eventually but didn’t understand why it freaked me out so much, but she put it up to a learning experience.

This is what killed that pre relationship for me.

I will only let people I 100% trust touch my glasses and my cane. My current girlfriend has a cane too. :)

oh man that would me *horrible* im so sorry. at least with my work crush, there had definitely previously been many instances of me asking him to hold it for a sec while I used both hands, etc, so there was already that show of trust even if he doesnt quite know thats what it was. bitch definitely knows I'm horny for both him and my cane tho so the way he touches it *has* to be intentional flirting lmao

someone im unfamiliar with touching my cane without consent is suuuuch a big red flag tho, im glad you listened to ur gut on that and im glad she (it sounds like) learned from it but man, shudders

[ghostchems]

did y’all know that you can send me anons anytime?

[arlerts-angel]

hi!! would i be able to request a smut drabble where the reader meets eren at a party and they end up fucking? erens lowkey a manwhore but when he meets the reader hes smitten immediately <3 theyre both super hornt but the reader is shy n eren takes the lead. sorry if it isnt specific enough or u dont feel like writing. manbun jaeger just has me in a chokehold icl

✎ᝰ a/n: ahhh thank you for this request!! it's a big longer than a drabble (i hope that's okay!) and i hope i did him justice! this is my first eren fic 🖤

☆ wc: 1.1k

⚠︎ cw: dom!eren jaeger x fem reader, porn with some plot, semi-public sex (outside jean & eren's place) degradation, oral sex (m&f receiving), gagging (while sucking him off), penetrative sex, eren has a tongue piercing, pet names (good girl, slut, brat, baby, pretty girl)

♡ taglist: @callm3senpaii @levilxvr @fuyuswifey @stoned-eren @jeannineee @angelescent @softlilpeachxx @girlybelle @arlertwitch @crazychaoticizzy @i-literally-cant-with-this

★彡 𝙒𝙊𝘼𝙃.ᐟ 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙔 𝙂𝙊?

"christ, kirstein... there's no way you know all these people." eren thinks to himself, pushing past everyone in the congregation. he opens and shuts the door quickly. he grabs the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and taps it on his hand before taking one out and lighting it. he brings it to his lips.

inhale.

he closes his eyes, soaking in the sound of mostly silence, accompanied only by muffled music and his thoughts.

exhale.

he blows a cloud of smoke past his lips and is greeted by a voice behind him. "do you mind if i stay out here with you for a moment?" truthfully, he did mind... until he got a good look at the girl approaching him.

"nah. you good?" he asks, taking another hit of his cigarette. you nod. "yeah, just over the party already." he smirks. "you too?" you nod and giggle. "yeah, one of my friends dragged me here." "i see. name's eren." he glances over at you and offers you his cigarette. you shake your head and politely decline. "no thank you, i don't smoke."

"oh yeah? you're a good girl then, huh? that's why you don't wanna be here." your cheeks grow warm at the sound of "good girl" coming from the pretty boy's lips. you try to respond but words fail you, causing you to stutter helplessly. he takes one last drag before putting the cigarette out.

"you liked that. i can tell." he licks his lips, a hint of light shines on the ball of his tongue piercing. he looks you up and down, feeling a tent grow in his pants. "good girl, hm? bet you fuck like a slut." he grins, glancing over at you. you squeeze your legs together, feeling your wetness collect in your panties. "wouldn't you like to know?" you retort.

"oh, is that right?" he inches closer to you and grabs your jaw in his big hand, forcing you to look at his green eyes. "i love putting brats like you in their place. get on your knees or i'll put you on them myself." your eyes are glossy with anticipation and excitement. as quickly as your heart beats you fall to your knees, looking up at him as he unbuckles his belt.

he pulls his massive cock out of his pants and pumps it lazily in his hand. "open that pretty mouth, baby." he growls. you open your mouth at his command, jolting at the feeling of his cock slapping against your tongue. "now be a good girl and suck my dick." you hesitate for a moment. "i can't, 's too big. i'll choke—" he pulls your hair into a messy ponytail in his hand. "ah–!"

"you'll sound so pretty choking on my cock." he coos, pushing the tip past your lips. that was all the encouragement you needed. you accepted each inch into your mouth until you couldn't fit any more. you begin bobbing your head up and down against his shaft slowly, working up the courage to quicken your pace. you look up at him, batting your tear-soaked lashes at him. "fuck i can't look at you like that. i'll cum." he groans.

you hum around his cock as your tongue swirls around his tip. he grips onto your hair tighter and fucks his cock deeper into your throat, making the walls of your throat contract as you gag. he grunts as he feels his cock twitch. "god damn it. i like that, baby. think you can handle one more time?" you nod and allow his cock to assault your throat. once more, your throat tightens. "ah fuck— just like that baby." he groans, shooting his hot load into your mouth. "so good. so fuckin' good for me."

you swallow the semen he so graciously gifted to you. he helps you off the ground and kisses your lips hungrily. "your turn, princess. can't wait to taste you." he slides your dress up and rubs your pussy over your wet panties. "no use in wearing these. they're soaked baby... and i haven't even touched you." he smirks and hooks his fingers into the hem of your panties, sliding them down your legs and tossing them to the side.

with your back against the wall, eren gets on his knees and licks stripes up and down your slit before tongue-fucking your entrance. "sweeter than fuckin' candy... this pussy... it's fuckin' mine now." his tongue settles at your clit, flicking it eagerly. the vibrations of his grunts and groans against your bud and the silver ball of his tongue piercing stimulate you further.

"shit—! e-eren–!" you mewl, grabbing onto his hair for leverage. your legs begin to shake and you feel yourself getting close. "gonna cum–ah–!"

eren moans while watching you cum on his face. he slurps up the rest of your juices before slipping two fingers into your pussy. he kisses his way up to your lips, sloppily making you taste yourself. you whine as he pulls his fingers out. "i look forward to breaking you, princess. ready for my cock?" you nod in response, dropping to all fours.

he rubs his cockhead up and down your wet slit, teasing your needy, achy cunt. "gonna mold this pussy just for me." he sighs, slowly sliding the tip into your inviting entrance. once he's past your folds, he thrusts a couple of times to fit himself all the way in you. "shit baby. pretty tight for such a slutty pussy." he slurs.

"mmph–! eren–! fuck me already–! please..." you beg. "tch. you want it so bad? fuck yourself on my cock." he growls. you groan and thrust yourself back and forth on his shaft, quickening your pace as you adjust to his length. he holds onto your hips and pulls you back faster and harder on his cock. "keep it up baby, just like that. shiiiiit..." he groans and reaches a hand under neath and rubs your clit vigorously. "want you to cum all over my cock, pretty girl. mkay?"

you nod and shut your eyes. "fuck—! eren–!" the knot in your stomach tightens and snaps. your walls clench around him as he fucks you through your second orgasm. "fuck yeah baby, i'm gonna cum–" he says with gritted teeth, thrusting one last lazy time into you before pulling out and painting the small of your back and ass with his cum.

for a moment you both collect your thoughts and catch your breaths, looking at each other and smirking. you can't help but hope to keep seeing him. he's mesmerizing, fun, and undeniably gorgeous.

he helps you up and into his arms. "wanna join me in the shower? i'll take care of you... you can even borrow one of my shirts." you accept his hug and agree. "sure, but only if i can get your number." he rolls his eyes light-heartedly and leads you to the door.

"tch. like i'd fuckin let you leave without it."

dividers by benkeibear

[pink-of-hair]

is it crueler to hypnotize someone into thinking they are not in pain when they actually are or to hypnotize someone into thinking they are in pain when they actually are not?

🌂 Silly anon! Hypnosis is never cruel! Just stare into my eyes now...

🌂 Yes, just like that...

[zmediaoutlet]

Survey results time.

At time of downloading the data we got just over 300 responses, which is not bad for a survey that was long and complicated to take! I'm sure my shamelessness helped. Being a survey for a specific crowd, we also didn't get anyone (as far as I could tell) taking the survey in bad faith, which is a legit surprise. Special shout-out to the several people who, when asked to write literally anything to say they understood what was going on, wrote "literally anything"; additional shout-out to the person who wrote "penus and hole" (sic). You get it, anonymous person.

I'm going to share the top results for the questions here, but I'll also include the raw data as a sheet at the end in case anyone wants to actually go through it with a fine-tooth comb. This is not a survey where cute pie charts or graphs would be useful or readable, so get ready for some sweet-ass numbers:

Story Genre

Unsurprisingly, our leaderboard for most favorite story genre in the 'Anytime!' category is as follows:

Hurt/comfort (153 votes)

Angst (142 votes)

PWP (139 votes)

We just like the guys to get the shit beaten out of them, angstily, and then they can feel better by jerking off about it. The ideal evening.

The big loser in genre, with 34 buds flat out saying "not for me", was Dark!fic. That said, Dark!fic also got 112 votes (third highest) for "has to be JUST right," so we can probably take from there that while as a group we don't hate dark content, we have pretty strict definitions for a) what counts as dark, and b) what kind of dark we're willing to take.

Gencest/gen was arguably the most 'eh, idk?' of the genres, with respectable showings in every category from Anytime to No; most people don't hate it, but people aren't really seeking it out either. It's definitely There.

Story Setting

The winner of most 'Anytime!' votes for story setting is close to my heart; the podium is:

Bunker era (142 votes)

Canon-close, codas, etc (129 votes)

Pre-series/weechesters (126 votes)

It feels good to know that canon is on our side. This may help explain why various alternate universe settings didn't do so hot with the respondents -- the least fave according to this survey is an age!swap AU, followed by a raised apart!AU. Writers who are making Sam the big brother who lives in Cleveland while baby Dean lives in Seattle, you keep living your truth, but readers are rearing back.

That being said, while Canon Divergence isn't an overall winner, it has a full 149 votes in the 'Dig it' category; so, while we may generally prefer canon, we're willing to be led on a garden path away from it. We just want canon to be within shouting distance, at least.

Canonical Character Variants

Here's where the survey gets more complex. I've always been interested in how and why people are fandoming about things, and simple 'yes/no' surveys rarely dig into that meat. The point of the superego/ego/id separation is to really interrogate -- hey, do you like to read about (for example) soulless!Sam because you find it interesting on a high-minded level, or because your heart-strings are getting tugged even if you think it's kinda dumb, or just because it makes you so hornt-up you can't think straight? All are valid, and all are possible simultaneously, but it's interesting to prod at to see how the interest is working. You might also just be like, eh, it's fine, or GOD, STOP, and that's fine too. So, with all that said:

Superego winners:

demon powers!Sam (202 votes)

soulless!Sam (177 votes)

blood addict!Sam (160 votes)

Y'all like to really brain about how Sam is fucked up. I get it.

Ego winners:

Trials of Hell!Sam (186 votes)

blood addict!Sam (180 votes)

demon powers!Sam (161 votes)

Still all Sam, and no surprise that his saintly pale sleeplessness is winning the heartstrings battle.

Id winners:

demon!Dean (205 votes)

demon powers!Sam (175 votes)

blood addict!Sam (165 votes)

Again, no surprise: fandom girlies (gn) love their bad boys, lol. Soulless snuck in at #4 here with 163, presumably because working out still wearing a belt was juuuust dorky enough to kick him off the podium; #5 was Smith & Wesson at 162, probably because if they'd been left in that AU for ten more minutes they would have been fucking over the top of Dean Smith's desk. Glad we're all on the same page, there.

The nopes here were an interesting mix. In the full-on No Thank You category we had Michael!Dean and Gadreel!Sam (with 52 and 53 votes respectively) -- it would be interesting to know if that was due to dread of the storyline specifically, or just how No Bad Wrong it felt to have it happening. These two also led the 'meh' category, although they were joined on the podium of bad by Endverse!Dean (128 Meh votes), which frankly shocked me. Y'all aren't into his thigh holster? C'mon now. Sure, he murders his friends without compunction, but -- thigh holster!

Story Tropes

These ones were fascinatingly all over the place, which is exactly why I wanted to do this. Going to just run down the S/E/I podiums real quick, then 'Hard sell', then No --

Superego winners:

Outsider!POV (211)

Someone Finds Out (191)

Mental health issues (190)

Ego winners:

Mutual pining (252)

First time (242) AND Sick/injured (242)

First time in a long time (235)

Id winners:

Jealousy/possessiveness (224)

First time (218)

First time in a long time (180)

Now, part of what's interesting about these is how they fall off in other categories. Outsider POV wins handily at Superego with 211, but then drops all the way down to 92 votes at Id -- which isn't nothing, but clearly it's preferred to have a heckin' think about how other people view the incest relationship, rather than thinking it's just So Hot that people might. Similarly, while people do think it's so so hot for one brother or the other (or both!) to be possessive at 224 votes, when it comes to the superego that drops right down to 134 votes, presumably as the brain wakes up and goes RED FLAG!

Entering the land of no thank you, we shall have two anti-podiums:

Real hard sell:

Infidelity (127)

magic/powers!Dean (125)

Unrequited/no relationship upgrade (110) AND "Carver Edlund" fandom

This is a much more mixed bag. Infidelity and Unrequited are no surprise here, because it Feels Bad, Man; magic!Dean also not really a surprise, given that most of our respondents prefer being closer to canon, and Dean is very much our mundane buddy in the show as presented. (A delightful buddy, but a distinctly nonmagical one.) Carver Edlund fandom makes me laugh mostly because it's such a bananas thing to exist in the show. Sam and Dean reading big bang fics about each other? Collectively we just... don't know what to do with that. Weird.

Squick/No/Maybe one exception:

Permanent character death (140)

Infidelity (108)

Eating disorders (102)

Again, no surprise in the anti-winners of 1 or 2 here, but number 3 surprised me, personally. ED fic used to be a pretty big wedge of common tropes that people would seek out. Perhaps it's gotten less popular over the years? Or perhaps just that the people who like it REALLY like it and so chat about it out loud, while those who don't quietly bury it in sand, lo as a cat does with their leavings.

Most extreme delta in 'general interest' (whether that be S,E, or I) to 'ehh' (whether that be Hard Sell or Squick) is first time. Y'all loooove your first time.

Sexy Tropes, Vol. 1

This is where I really wanted to know if people could pull apart their interests between brain and heart and guts. Hopefully people were honest, as requested. Some of them we know are slight liar answers, because the hits on AO3 tell a story that can't be refuted -- nevertheless, here's what people were willing to admit to.

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Bedsharing (158)

Incest kink (139)

Size kink (133)

your friendly neighborhood survey creator is jumping up and down going 'wooo' that size kink made the podium. also I hope everyone understood that incest kink meant, like, indulging in the incest of it all via 'oh you're so totes my brother and i want to suck your dingle for that reason specifically', but I realize that could've been clearer.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

shameless bottom!Dean stuff (151)

switching (147)

voyeurism (138)

the first one here genuinely surprises me considering what I see getting written most often; is this a case of just not being in the right venn diagrams, or the 'easy sell' just not matching up with what people are being sold? Curiouser and curiouser.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

bad/awkward sex (120)

phone sex (114)

in [drug/alcohol] veritas (110)

edging into awkward town in a few ways here: we don't love these, but we can see how it'd be fun. or not fun, in the case of bad sex.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

always-another-gender!AU (84)

multiple Sams or Deans (73)

genderswap (magic) (72)

so, in general, we prefer to keep the penises around and intact, but just one Sam penis and one Dean penis, please. Here, I'm interested that the volume is much lower than in the top category: maxing out at 84 hard sells compared to 158 bulletproof options means that we're willing to give more of these tropes a chance, even if they're not our faves. How accepting we are!

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

always-another-gender!AU (83)

A/B/O elements (65)

multiple Sams or Deans (51)

strong overlap with the hard sell; and, keeping in mind that people were able to choose multiple options, it's possible that some of those were identical votes. Again, please keep the penises straightforward and only two at a time. A/B/O is interesting here, especially given what we know of how well it does on AO3; while it's a big squick for a lot of people, it also has decently high votes in bulletproof/easy, averaging 82 votes. Mixed bag!

Sexy Tropes Vol. 2, Electric Boogaloo

Bulletproof kink/will read any version:

Possessive/claiming sex (129)

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (116)

Hair pulling (103)

Let's glance back up at the Id winners in the story tropes above, hmm quietly to ourselves, and move on.

Easy sell/you don't have to work hard for me to enjoy:

Marking (hickeys/bruising) (135)

Hair pulling (130)

Possessive/claiming sex (121)

Well, that's boring. So let's expand so as not to be repetitive:

4. Dub-con (116) 5. Dom/sub (113) AND Underage (113) 6. Knifeplay (107)

There we go. Pretty easy to put all of those into one fic, too.

Medium sell/not my fave, but I can see how it appeals:

Blindfolds (128)

Painplay (116)

Shibari/rope play (112)

We're starting to lose interest as accessories come into play. Interesting to compare D/s and its relative success against painplay -- so, tell him what to do, but don't hit him while you're doing it. Fair enough.

Hard sell/this is unbelievable or uninteresting so you have to work hard to get me to enjoy it:

Fucking machines (94)

Vore (80)

Mommy!kink (77)

Entertaining mix here, haha. General feasibility may be rearing its head here. (Also, for my own entertainment: daddy!kink got 67 Hard Sell votes. People generally prefer to keep it as horizontal incest, not vertical incest.)

Squick/no/maybe one exception:

Feederism (164)

Vore (161)

Extreme underage (157)

No surprises here, although some fans of the nibbly variety of wincest may be disappointed by vore's poor placement. Note also that 'extreme' is in the eye of the beholder; we'll leave aside value judgments, as we have for the whole survey, and note that people are not indulging in a version of underage they find to be personally past the line, or at least are not admitting to that.

At a glance, the closest matchup between bulletproof for some and a squick to others is bloodplay, with just 1 vote separating the two categories: 44 bulletproof, 43 squick. Next time someone tries to tell you that 'everyone' likes or doesn't like something, please take it with an entire shaker full of salt.

Dynamic & Position Preferences

I tried to encourage people not to think too hard about this one and just answer on instinct. Who knows if that worked. But here are some overview takes:

Toppy/dominant: Sam takes the lead here, with 69% of respondents being in the 'Love it!' category. Nice. (217 votes)

Dom Dean earned a respectable 52% of 'Love it!' votes (163).

However, I was also interested to check out the inverse --

subby!Sam: 44 'Very no thank' votes (13%) subby!Dean: 27 'Very no thank' votes (8%)

It's interesting to leap way back up and compare that against 'shameless bottom!Dean stuff' doing so well in the rated E categories. Makes you ponder.

Actual sex position: Frequently switching takes the win here, with 61% of the vote (194 votes). Sam always topping edges out if people must choose, with 144 votes; Dean always topping is our lowest choice, with 112.

Service!topping: this is a fairly niche fic type, but it does still exist -- I guess in a world of bottoms someone's got to actually get up and do something, and it is hilariously an almost perfectly even split:

service!top Sam: 50.17% (151 votes) service!top Dean: 51.50% (155 votes)

A healthy percentage of people said they didn't care about these questions either way, and more power to them. However, they were wildly outvoted by those who did.

Multishipping Time

Our final categories are when other people get their grubby hands on Sam or Dean, either canonically(ish) or in our fandom activities.

Canonical relationships for Sam

Jess wins, quelle surprise. :) 161 people Dug It and who can blame them.

Amelia LOSES, shocking no one: 112 people said Fuck That.

Eileen was definitely a mixed bag; her results, in order, were: Meh: 92; Fuck that: 76; Worse than meh: 66; Dug it: 44.

Canonical(ish) relationships for Dean

Note here: it was too unbalanced if we only went with people Dean officially dated. However, the show leaned hard into a few unrequited male relationships for him, which we included here, and no one sent me hate about it so I guess that was fine.

Benny wins the Love It! category with 129 votes, barely edging out Cassie at 122. Benny is best boy, so that fits.

Cas loses with a full 99 Fuck That votes, which is probably what we'd expect from a wincest survey. That said, he also got 93 Dug It votes, so it's a pretty balanced showing.

Poor Lisa sits firmly at Meh with 148 votes. It's not that we hate you, Lisa; we just don't really know what to do with you. Which is pretty much how the relationship went in the show.

Shipping Sam like FedEx

We returned to the S/E/I model for shipping as we did for tropes, because it means something very different to go 'oh sure, I can see how that would be interesting' vs saying 'I want them to fuck rawnasty and I don't care why they're doing it.' Apologies if I left out your favorite side-ship but, shit, there's only so much time in the day.

So, we return to the podiums:

Superego:

Ruby (132)

Rowena (121)

Cas (102)

Ego:

Rowena (121)

Cas (106)

Ruby (90)

Id:

Ruby (125)

John (121)

Rowena (118)

So that was going on sedately until Dad came in like a hammer. Fascinating. On the other hand:

No:

Lisa (234)

Donna (222)

Claire (219)

Interesting to me that these three are ladies that Sam theoretically could have got up in but people are not into it, regardless. This is slightly different to Dean's 'no' category -- spoilers for three inches of screen space!

Dean, Shipped by UPS

Superego:

John (129)

Benny (115)

Lisa (99)

Ego:

Benny (134)

John (116)

Lisa (102)

Id:

John (147)

Benny (128)

Crowley (114)

Well. That tells a slightly different story, ahem. Enjoy the various tropes that will be applied, Dean! And then we get:

No:

Amelia (245)

Kevin (223)

Gabriel (217)

Comparing to the Sam 'no' above -- these three are slightly more 'traditional' Sam ships, though the wincest shippers are nevertheless not into them for Sam, either. Dean literally never spoke to or saw Amelia on screen, so it'd be a determined shipper who'd make that happen. Not undoable, though!

Conclusion

Syke: there isn't one to be made. This really shows how diverse the taste is in the wincest community, or at least in the wincest community that a) happened to see this survey over the last five days and b) bothered to take it. This particular group leans slightly toward e.g. toppy Sam, or slightly toward switching, but when you look at raw numbers what you see is that at least one person LOVES every single one of these things, and at least one person fucking HATES every single one of these things, and so -- so what? Write what you want. If you see a niche of something that you love where you feel like not enough people are writing or reading, try to fill it. If you're worried "no one" will like it, well -- you're wrong. Someone will. It just needs to get seen by the right people.

That's where fandom comes in, to spread the love even if something isn't bulletproof for us -- reblogging a post to say, 'hey, my mutual made this thing, look at it!' What a joy it'd be if someone saw it and loved it to absolute shattering bits, and then found their little bulletproof community, and happiness was made. What's the point, if we're not making each other happy.

Thanks for participating if you did, and reading all this if you did. Here's a link to a google sheet (read only) with all the tables of raw data if you're interested. I'll post some of the more entertaining fill-in answers later.

s&d shipping survey results: November 1, 2023 - Google Sheets

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. pls help find a fic! it had a-yuan with lwj during his 3 year seclusion, and lwj was cold to lxc and lqr iirc. once lwj asks for a day out and they tell him itll lengthen his seclusion but a-yuan says 'no, itll be 3 years and one day', and then i think lxc himself asks lwj to come out but a-yuan demands that this day won't be added to the seclusion. there's also a scene where nmj runs into lwj carrying a-yuan, and lwj is very wary and protective? i hope i have the right details! thank you!!!

FOUND! Survival - Part Six by Jinko (G, 5k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, JYL Lives) is the fic in the "Survival" series by Jinko. The described scene is in fic "Survival - Part Six"

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2. Hi! Thanks for existing 🖤 I'm looking for a fic I read a while back, I don't remember the specifics except that it was a LZ-centric fic, in which LZ comes to terms with his queerness and more generally who he is after meeting WY. This is going to be extremely specific but at some point LZ slowly begins to experiment with fashion, buying white, flowy designer pieces and trying on glitter eyeliner. I think NHS might be a designer too but I'm not sure... I really really hope someone sees what fic I'm talking about because this fic helped me so much. Thanks 🖤🖤🖤🖤

FOUND! For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm (E, 170k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Pining, Porn, like in the writing and also as a plot point, onlyfans au, repressed lwj, sex worker wwx, in this house we support sex work, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, hornt™, way too many details about onlyfans probably, mental health, therapy is good actually, Nonbinary NHS)

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3. hi! i was wondering if you know the ao3 fic where wei wuxian is a ghost at ends up at xie lian’s shrine? and he’s stuck there at first with no memory but then decides to stay?

FOUND? Slumbering Soul by animewriter (M, 26k, wangxian, JC/NHS, SL/XXC, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, reincarnation, ABO, dark LWJ, sick WWX, non-con drug use, comatose, coma, dark JGY, sleeping beauty elements, WIP)

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4. Hiii, please can you help me find a fic. All i remember from it is that lwj was supportive of or atleast close to wwx someway and the jin were trying to get him to spy on wwx or turn against him. They were confident that the righteous hwj will not stand with the evil ylz and ofcourse they were dead wrong. Thats all i can recall...thank youuu.

FOUND? 💖 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriages)

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5. Hello! I am looking for a fic where Lwj is a prince of a kingdom and WWX is his companion who runs away right before lwj’s palace is raided. Lwj has to go on to the run and is forced to marry from one of the powerful sects for protection, and ends up marrying a grown WWX who is a leader of his sect in the BM and has a few adopted kids, a-yuan included. WWX has LWJ call him A-Xian to cover his identity but even in the first few chapters, Lwj was seeing similarities between his companion A-Ying and his new husband A-Xian. Any help would be appreciated, I’ve been going nuts trying to find this fic!

FOUND? pitiful destiny, point your finger at me by sassybluee (E, 66k, WangXian, Royalty, Yílíng Wèi Sect, Arranged Marriage, Pining while fucking, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Secret Identity, Under-negotiated Kink, Donghua YLLZ, CQL LWJ, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Identity Porn, Porn With Plot, Resentacles, YL WWX, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

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6. Helloooooo, guys! I think this has been answered before. WWX wears LWJ's robes (during Cloud Recesses study era) as a prank and LWJ becomes like. really horny

FOUND? Fate Misnamed by incendir (T, 11k, WIP, WangXian)

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7. Hi I'm looking for a fic - lwj calls wwx a liar and blames him for moving a vase? and wxx apologizes even though he didn't do it. @lunetteaurillane

FOUND? under my skin by wqngji (M, 3k, WangXian, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Established Relationship, Fights, Crying, Married Couple, Insecure WWX, Self-Worth Issues, Hurt WWX, Sex in a Car, Car Sex, Day At The Beach)

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8. hi! first off, thank you so much for all work you do! And for the next fic finder can you help me find a wangxian fic, where mxy (wwx in mxy's body) is given to lwj as a "gift" from the emperor and he was trained ala concubine style. Cant remember too mucb else, except wwx acts very delicate bc of the training and lwj only finds out it is wwx at a later point in the fic. Thank you! @yuri-shibuya

FOUND! 梅花/plum blossoms by bunnxianluvsu (MooseFeels), MooseFeels (E, 20k, WangYu, WangXian, courtesan, power, Diplomacy, Pining, Grief/Mourning, Gender, just like the gender, this fic has Some Gender In It, Canon-Typical Discussion of Death, Canonical metion/discussion/depiction of suicide, Oral Sex, Cock Warming, Dressing, Service Top)

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9. Hi! For the next fic finder, I'm looking for one where LWJ is a trans man and Lan yuan is wangxian's biological kid - basically they get together as high schoolers but LQR walks in on them having sex and gets angry and tells YZY, who straight up kicks WWX out. Later LWJ finds out he's pregnant but no one can find WWX so he's raising LSZ with LQR and LXC. Years later WWX is a famous musician or something like that, and when he comes back there he finds out about LSZ and they get back together. Thanks in advance!! @ilovechaats

FOUND! my heart to your beat by larkspur_9 (T, 16k, WangXian, Modern AU, Single Parent LWJ, Celebrity WWX, Trans Male Character, Trans LWJ, Fluff and Angst, (but mostly fluff), Kid Fic, WWX and LWJ are A-Yuan's biological parents)

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10. Hello! Can you help me find this fic— lan qiren's soul was swap to wwx's. Something like lqr woke up he's already in the burial mound then wwx woke up in the cloud recesses. lqr found out about the dafan wens. its kinda fix-it, i think their souls was swap because of the incense burner(?) and i dont know if this is the same story or not, there's also a scene lqr questioned everyone in the burial mounds about the camp and to be sure that they're not cultivators, something like that. thank you very much! (ur blog is very helpful, thanks for ur effort) xoxo @httpskaixx

FOUND! Lan Qiren's Worst Day by bluesloth (G, 13k, LWJ & WWX, LQR & WWX, bodyswap, fix-it of sorts, humor, everyone lives au)

NOT FOUND! Judge Softly by Chrononautical (E, 32k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, LQR & WWX, accidental voyeurism, non-consensual mind reading, oblivious WWX, bamf WWX, genius WWX, post-canon Fix-it, angst w happy ending, LQR tries) lqr and wwx swap consciousness while wwx is off being a rogue cultivator and lqr hears wwx's memories, nightmares, and thoughts about himself.

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11. Hi :) Thank you so much for everything you do, idk what I’d do without this blog! For the next fix finder I was wondering if anyone knew of a short fic where Lan Zhan asks Wei Ying to spend the holidays with him and his brother but when Lan Xichen meets him he mistakenly thinks that WY is using his brother and warns him off so he cancels and spends the holiday alone. LX realises his mistake when he see the Christmas gift WY made for his brother (it was a lamp with stars cut out).

FOUND? 💙 Twitter threadfic by @/hyacinthsu, also in AO3

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12. Hello there!! Uh, I'm looking for this one fic where there's this glowy orb? appears in LQR's classroom and you can ask it questions about the future (it'll show visions as a response). It's set during the cloud recess lectures. If you could find it please, I would appreciate it very much! Thank you for this blog (i find that it is what i needed in my life) and for reading this, if you took the time out of your day to read it! Seriously, I can't thank you enough! Have a wonderful day (or night)!

FOUND? Yearning for Miles by Murahi (M, 378k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, Mutual Pining, seeing the future) WWX finds the orb in his room and has visions with JC and NHS

FOUND? WangXianPrompt - So this is what the future looks like by Amaterasu_Susanno (Not Rated, 14k, WangXian, XuanLi, Getting Together, Seeing the future, Teaching, Love Confessions, Strange array (which is entierly Wei Ying's doing), Prompt Fic, Fix-It of Sorts, Fix-It, Implied Fix-It) It's an array that appears in LQR's classroom and answers questions about the future

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13. im this close to giving up😩 do you happen to know a fic where WY and LZ are in an enemies-with-benefits sort of relationship but WY gets disowned by the jiangs and ends up in a really tight situation where he’s working 24/7 and looks super tired whenever he and LZ meet up. but LZ doesnt know whats going on, only knows that WY get thinner and thinner with every meeting so he tries to feed WY. at one point LZ calls whatever they have between them off and WY’s just like, “oh, okay. i knew this would happen its fine.” and LZ regrets blablabla

do you happen to know a fic like this🥺🥺💌

FOUND? Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You’re an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, College AU, Porn with feelings, Angst)

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14. Looking for a fic where Lan Wangji loses his leg after the burning of Cloud Recesses and Wei Wuxian makes him a prosthetic.

not FOUND Twitter threadfic by @/the_last_d_boy sounds like a twt thread i wrote actually! it's coming to ao3 next year

unfortunately it's not that one though I really loved reading yours also 😍 the other one is from canon era if I remember correctly

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15. Lost a fic where Lan Wangji is a god, I think, and he takes on a challenge of sorts and ends up in Yiling stuck in a bunny form. He meets Wei Wuxian as a kid on the street, and I think Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan were there at some point, too.

FOUND? Wei Ying Picked Up A Bun-Ji by minfie (RevolvedAroundJeon), RevolvedAroundJeon (T, 1k, WangXian, Mythology, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Bunny LWJ, Strangers to Lovers, Gods)

FOUND? Twitter threadfic by @/yumichanhamano

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16. Hi! I hope everyone is doing ok!! I'm here asking for your help to find a fic, please. I remember it waa time travel, JC got back and found kid!WWC in Yiling, and somehow left him at BM. Then WQ, who also got back (JC doesn't know that yet) takes him to her parents, and I think he grows up as a Wen. They both visit him through the years, and I think even LWJ shows up at some point. JC sees himself die, because he fell from the boat after the attack to LP. Do you know it? Thanks, happy holidays!

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17. Hi I'm looking for a fic where lan zhan fakes having hanahaki disease. He grows oleander flowers inside jingshi and stuffs the flowers inside his throat to throw up when he's distressed. He throws up flowers in a discussion conference i think.

Later Lan Xichen finds out he's growing the flowers himself and is faking the illness when he visits jingshi. But he goes with wangji's faking because he doesn't want his sect to lose face.

Wei ying is arranged to marry wangji not knowing his hanahaki isn't real.

I swear i read this fic not too long ago but can't remember the title to save my life. Help me please

FOUND! the sweet scent of their tragedy by HeavenlySkyfarer (E, 23k, wangxian, major character death, angst, politics, depression, hanahaki disease, language of flowers, love confessions, manipulation, marriage, mental health issues, pining, post-sunshot, rumors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self-harm, pining, bittersweet, morally grey LWJ)

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18. I have a question? I know you have a post about finding fics and I have been searching in my spare time for one specific one since it's on my mind again. Can not find it! I know it's a canon divergence after the first siege on the burial mounds. Wwx is forced mute and captured as a prisoner either with the Jins or Nies. The one true scene that I remember is Wwx keeping quiet about not having a golden core and everyone thinking hes still a cultivator so he should be fine with no eating or drinking. This basically almost kills him and forces Jiang Cheng to take him to lotus Pier where hes locked up with no one for company. Also the narrative is heavy Jin Ling! Thank you in advance! Will keep looking when I can! 💙❤💙❤💙❤ @skylar-lei1634

FOUND? ❤️ whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dysfunctional Family, Torture, WWX Lives, but basically no one else, Case Fic, Cultivation Sect Politics, Past Abuse, WWX Whump, YL WWX, JL Needs a Hug, JL Tries, Yunmeng Bro Reconciliation, Past Character Death, Body Horror, Non-Consensual Body Modification, POV Alternating, Flashbacks, Eventual Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Suicide Attempt, PTSD, Depression, Not A Fix-It, Mouth Sewn Shut) but it's locked to the archive so the requester will need an account to read it

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19. Sorry for the trouble, but I once read a fic with background WangXian and main pairing: Jiang Cheng/Nie Huaisang. It was a humorous / crack-ish royalty AU wherein the Yunmeng trio were separated in the aftermath of the Lotus Pier invasion. Crown Prince Jiang Cheng finds himself in the Unclean Realm, where Second Prince Nie Huaisang has a vested interest in a boy he met years ago. He joins his family again with forces from the Unclean Realm to find that Wei Wuxian’s either engaged or married to Lan Wangji because he stole his forehead ribbon years ago in a tournament. Cue the canon-typical brotherly exasperation. It’s kingdom retaking, and there were crocodiles. I can’t remember the title, which is frustrating. I want to say it was “Jiang Cheng’s (or Jiang Wanyin’s) Guide to [something],” but I’m not sure.

FOUND! Your heart is the home I return to by jayjem_jam (M, 40k, WIP, ChengSang, Royalty, Undercurrent of violence, Serious AND comedic, Political Intrigue, Mistaken Identity, Magical Realism, badly hidden identity) The summary of this fic sounds promising for 19, but I haven’t read it so can’t be sure.

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20. Hello! I’m looking for a fic that I think was a time travel fic but Wei Wuxian didn’t physically travel back. There was something about the yin iron shards iirc but I definitely remember WWx saying he got visions of some sorts to explain whatever happened when he arrived. I think it was a wip.

Unfortunately it's not the thing with feathers, the fic starts during cloud recesses arc, I think

not FOUND ❤️ the thing with feathers by RoseThorne  (G, 43k, wangxian, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Fear, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Sexual Tension, Arranged Marriage, Grief, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect) the last one sounds like it might be the thing with feathers defo not exact but Wei yings future knowledge is described as visions

FOUND? Yearning for Miles by Murahi (M, 378k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Slow burn, Mutual Pining, seeing the future)

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[gorbalsvampire]

𝖃𝕴𝕴𝕴 𝕿𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝕱𝖊𝖚𝖉𝖆𝖑 𝕭𝖔𝖍𝖊𝖒𝖎𝖆

𝔄𝔠𝔱 ℑℑℑ, 𝔰𝔠𝔢𝔫𝔢 𝔦𝔦𝔦

Our story smash cuts across the city, to the catacombs beneath Josefov. In those hallowed depths, Mariam and Marsillius have passed a day away - and it's a good thing she stayed, 'cause otherwise he'd have woken up to Othelio her brother standing over his monkish little self with a headsman's axe and a grin.

Marsillius wanted to return to St. Lawrence and ask his sire about the Prophet Octavio. Mariam was hung up on that document - the treatise that had been hidden in the late rabbi Zachary's desk. Why was that left pristine when everything else was trashed? Was the scroll a plant? Was this, and I quote a player here, "some sort of King In Yellow thing, where you read the scroll and start simping for Shaagra?"

But first, Mariam needed to hunt. The Nosferatu had built their lair around an underground stream, and it happened that one end of that stream broke the surface near the edge of the Quarter and the city walls - a good spot to leave contraband, if contraband you had to leave. So it was tonight: a woman named Ruth was there to collect her sealed keg of FORBIDDEN BREAD! Yes, it's another leavened bread crime, and Mariam's Herd is clearly a small ring of Bread Criminals that she's allowing to continue their business so she always has someone to "punish."

The two Cainites made their way to St. Lawrence's for a conversation with Garinol, which would be cut off at some stage by the return of the novices from vespers - Garinol's chamber being above the dormitory. Marsillius confessed to his sire that he may have been mistaken about Vysehrad - but Mariam came to his defence, saying they did learn something, quite a lot of somethings in fact. She asked Garinol about the treatise: had he read it, did he still have it, had it... was it actually in Zachary's handwriting?

Garinol, like Prince Brandl in the previous session, had a Discipline that was relevant here, and I asked another of those questions to see how far he should push his pool: "how keen are we here?" It was deemed pretty central to investigations, so with an effort of will Garinol completed the puzzle, using The Spirit's Touch on the treatise and coming to understand why Zachary had hidden it.

He'd been writing it for Garinol - they were sharing perspectives on life and afterlife, as part of a grand necromantic project of which Garinol could not speak - but it also happened to serve Octavio's ends, the Prophet having called on the rabbi some ten years prior for insights into the unwritten laws of Heaven. What Octavio wanted was some way of cheating Shaagra out of her entombment - she hadn't chosen to hide beneath a building her grandchilder couldn't enter at all! The Basilica had been raised to contain her.

Mariam, her eyes wide, started to wonder if the prophecy the Tzimisce were following had come from Octavio - if the Malkavian was playing them as well. It became clear that finding Octavio was paramount. Perhaps they could track him somehow... perhaps Alzbeta would know something, with that strange Malkavian insight?

But first, Marsillius had to check on Christof. He'd asked the knight to do a deed for him, after all, and also he was hornt hungry. They came on Christof shirtless and going through his broadsword drills (in sooth). Once he'd dressed himself and bumbled through an apology, explaining that he had the inscription from St. Vitus' but had also been thrown out for asking if he could simply take the relic, and had a historygasm among the tombs of the old Dukes of Prague, and also - did Marsillius know how like him the Archbishop looked? The semblance is uncanny - older, and meaner of cast, and lacking a beard, but...

We broke down for a while here, as @friends-of-beetlejuice confronted with horror the idea that Octavio had been impersonating the Archbishop all along. I almost regret that I'd already decided where Octavio was, and that Christof had met the Archbishop in the daytime, because that was a good twist. Questions were asked about the age of Sister Berta, too - was she secretly Marsillius' mother?

While Marsillius and Christof had another of their extremely heterosexual and godly moments, Mariam excused herself and went out into the orchards of Petrin Hill, where she encountered none other than Theodericus, coming up the hill to consult with Marsillius! This was largely an opportunity for the player who was in the last session to fill in the player who wasn't - but it did leave the three Cainites able to make their plan.

Mariam was going to scour the Jewish ghetto, pulling every string she normally yanked to hunt. Theodericus and Marsillius were going to consult the Cainites in the best place to know exactly when the Basilica was built and for what purpose, and what had transpired the last time Octavio visited Prague, and where he might be now - the Brujah of the Old Town. After all, Ecaterina claims to be a Carthaginian - that makes her the oldest active Cainite in town. And if she knows not - Cosmas is the chronicler who wrote the definitive history of the Bohemian people, alive and undead. One of them must have a clue, right?

We pre-rolled this bit. I'm not sure when we'll be able to roll again - the players have very incompatible schedules over the next few weeks, and while at least two of us are free on any given game night, this feels like something nobody should miss. We'll need to talk about that.

[tavina-writes]

hey tav, quick question! i just read your jin yong post and i'm new to his novels so. i was wondering in which one does the. uh. shizunfucking occur 👀 asking for a friend, as they say. thanks in advance! <3

HELLO FRIEND SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

The Shizunfucking (okay I have to clarify, the age difference here is somewhere between like, 3-7 years, SHIZUN is not very much older than her disciple here.) occurs in ROCH, Return of the Condor Heroes, which is the second book in the Condor Trilogy and the direct sequel to LOCH (Legend of the Condor Heroes) following Yang Guo (the disciple in question).

I won't spoil too much of the plot but like, this is where we get the stereotypical extremely beautiful ice cold dressed in white shizun and the besotted cheeky disciple from.

Also they have an ice bed. That she makes him sleep on. And at one point they have to practice martial arts together naked or it wouldn't work and they'd die. And they got married with a dead woman's wedding clothes and also she tells him that since she promised to care for him forever if she feels like she's dying she'll kill him and then put him in the same coffin as her and shut it so they'll die together etc etc.

And also at one point she pitches herself off a cliff. And they get horribly poisoned by the "IF YOU FUCK (or even just get a hornt boner tbh) YOU'LL DIE" poison. (do you see some common shizunfucker tropes here, bc MAN OH MAN.) btw this book was written in 1959-1961. They just let people put this in the NEWSPAPER in INSTALLMENTS like this.

And uh. yeah. Okay a lot happens in this book and it's not really ABOUT Shizunfucking but it's also not not about Shizunfucking. Like all Jin Yong books, this is a very book.

Also dw I've spoiled nothing about the plot.

iirc there is not an official translation and the ROCH adaptation everyone yells about is the 95 version which I can only find on youtube in Cantonese but it DOES have Carman Lee (who plays Lan Yi in CQL) as Xiao Longnv, which is a huge plus. I don't thiiiink you necessarily need to know what a LOCH is to read/watch ROCH but also I feel like it would make sense to watch/read LOCH first?

Feel free to send me follow-up questions!

[kittygirltitty]

Introduction

Hiya! This is my account for horny shit, which I think is really cool and good and keep up the good work. My bio and preferences are below the cut

DNI: Minors or those who wish to interact with them. Homophobes, transphobes, anti-SW as well but they're probably gonna interact regardless :/

Alright, with that out of the way, Hi! I'm Hazel (she/her, 21yo). I'm a transfem lesbian (I call myself lesbian for gender reasons but bi/pan with a strong sapphic lean is probably more accurate, if you're not comfy with that I understand) and am pretty kinky sometimes, hence this account.

One of my goals with this space is to make friends/acquaintances around here, so please say hi, I don't bite unless you ask~ DMs/asks are completely open, you're welcome to flirt, tease, request flirts or teasing from me, or anything else you want. I'm happy to do ERP too

Stuff I'm into:

This isn't a comprehensive list, I honestly have very little I'm fully not into seeing, but these are some of the things I really like:

Hypnosis/Mind control, Bondage, Dom/Sub, Cum

Stuff I'm not into:

Pregnancy (I enjoy the silly meme stuff just nothing super descriptive at me please)

This list will likely be updated as I think about more things, but this is what I've got for now. If you're unsure about anything and want to engage with it with me please shoot a DM first.

Tags I use:

I'm sorta working out a tagging system as I go so this one will also undergo updates probably. I'll try to go back and retag posts I've already reblogged when new ones come up, but sorry if I miss something.

#hornt - I use this one for a personal collection of pornographic (or otherwise unchaste) content.

#horny (txt/img/vid/gif/art) - in conjunction with the previous, to specify format for better searching. Formats are text/photo/video/gif/drawn art.

#my txt - Specifically text that I've written. Other formats may be added.

I don't expect these ones to be particularly common but I'd rather keep it safe for anybody who doesn't want to see this sorta content if and when I reblog it (I don't condone such behaviour irl, but sexual fantasies can be weird so here we are), so here are some more serious tags:

#warning - A more general tag for any content I'd consider worth warning about, to be used in addition to the following

In addition to the above, the tags #consent warning is for situations where consent is dubious (or actively avoided) and #violence warning for situations where threats of violence are made or acted upon.

But uh, yeah that should be it, thanks for reading all the way and I hope you enjoy what I have here <3

[wsbhonni]

*looks around nervously*

Smutty idea I had;;

...

So, Arkin is a switch, and Asa is (predominantly) a top. Arkin doesn't really mind being the bottom, but he has moments where he really wants to dick Asa down.

Asa, when first asked if he would ever bottom, was like "no". But, highkey, really wants to know what bottoming is like.

So, the next time they get hornt, Asa let's Arkin take control-

And he has such a religious experience that he can't fathom how Arkin only has 1 kid.